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Should I Dump Him?


[The code for this no longer works, but the choices are still highly amusing —AR]

eciding whether to dump a boyfriend or not has never been an easy choice for most of us. Weighing the pros and cons, second-guessing, and all that guilt take up too much time for today's busy inQueer girl. So don't waste another minute pondering his worthiness to be with you, because the staff at inQueer has made it a snap to decide. Simply take our easy quiz below, and you'll know what to do in no time at all!

1: His best friend is…

an overweight woman.
really hot.
his personal trainer.
a cat/dog/bird.

2: The moment you knew he wanted to be more than just friends was…

when he sent you flowers.
during a movie when he did the "yawn and put his arms around your shoulders thing."
During a movie when he did the "yawn and put his arms down your pants thing."
the morning after.

3: When you're in bed together, you wonder…

How can I get abs like that?
Where did I put the key to the handcuffs?
What if I pretend he's Ryan Phillippe?
Is he snoring?

4: When he runs into an ex, he...

asks the ex, "Have you gained weight?"
introduces you as his "current boyfriend."
zones out with a wistful stare.
disappears into the bathroom five minutes later.

5: You're on a date with your boyfriend, and another guy tries to pick you up. You...

slap his face and scowl.
slap his wrist and wink.
slap his ass and smile.
turn around so he can slap your ass.

6. His parents are...

nice.
nonexistent.
nuns.
nazis.

7. He's out with the "guys" tonight. You...

have a spa night with some of your friends.
pace the halls wondering which bath he's at.
dress in drag and stalk him.
find your own "guys" to sleep with.

8. His job involves...

a stethoscope
a calculator
a curling iron
a cum mop

9. He suggests that he should move in with you. You...

rent the U-haul.
say yes, but only if you can keep your Swinging Richard's VIP card.
tell him that you usually prefer to go on more than two dates before moving in with someone.
change the locks.

10. The hard drive on his PC is filled with...

pictures of you and him.
porn.
phone numbers from tricks.
The last two choices only.

11. You're on vacation in P-Town together and he...

waits on you hand and foot.
finds an Ben Affleck look-a-like for a threesome.
frequently "loses" his bathing suit on the beach.
disappears for 72 hours.

12. He's stuck on an island, and he can only have three things with him. He would take...

you, a mattress, and some whipped cream.
hair gel, bronzer, and something by Versace.
a jar of olives, a litre of vodka, and a martini glass.
the milkman, the plumber, and the newsboy.