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[ This essay generated more mail than any other, mostly guys trying to reason with Becky. I also recieved a request from the Ricki Lake Show to have Becky on for an episode about men-hating women. I was tempted to go on in drag. Becky was to reappear in Issue 8 with a fierce defense of mullets, but alas, the essay was never finished. —AR]
 eople always ask me, "Becky, why are you so angry all the time?" Well, besides the glass ceiling, PMS, and a lack of women filmmakers in Hollywood, gay men are tops on my list of things that annoy me. Here's why:
1. They love drag queens. Why, why? Why do gay men spend time dressing up as, acting out, and reinforcing every female stereotype women's lib has fought so hard to eschew? High heels, makeup and big breasts are not things to be idolized. I fail to see the entertainment value here.
2. They have fag hags. It's bad enough that gay men used fag hags to shield their sexuality to the world, but then they have to drag these straight girls into our bars to tease and tantalize the dykes? I mean, why do gay men have legions of straight fat women chasing them to begin with? What's the attraction? And why aren't insecure flabby men following me around?
3. They disapprove of body hair. I do not understand the fixation gay men have with removing body hair. I see these 40 year-old fags running around with smooth chests, and I'm like, who are they kidding? Body hair is natural, people! And I certainly don't need gay men complaining to me about my hairy legs.
4. They disrobe at the drop of a hat. It can be below zero outside and gay men still feel the need to take their shirts off as soon as the get into the club. You generally don't see women feeling the need to remove their clothes. I mean, what makes gay men think that everyone wants to see them half-naked? Where are we? A bathhouse?
5, 6& 7. Richard Simmons, Christopher Lowell, and Nathan Lane. Do you think that it's a coincidence that the most annoying men in the world are all gay?
8. I can only take just so much Barbra Streisand. Take it from a dyke- she's not that hot. What's the obsession here?
9. They use the word "fabulous" to describe curtains. For some reason, gay men seem to think that because they are gay, that qualifies them to critique everything from your clothes to your home decor. And when they do like something, it's always "fabulous." Can you people find another word to describe things? Improve your vocabulary. Read some books! Pick up a thesaurus!
10. The fact that they exist on the planet at the same time I do. This really goes for most people who aren't lesbians, but when it comes right down to it, it would just be better if gay men were on some other world in another galaxy, thus minimizing my contact with them. Then they would be free to roam naked and waxed, wearing high-heels and turning Madonna's birthday into a worldwide celebration without irritating the rest of us.
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